How to Support LGBTQ+ Youth

LGBTQ+ individuals exist within all communities, spanning various racial, ethnic, socioeconomic, and geographical groups. While each individual experience is unique, the reality is that most LGBTQ+ youth face some form of discrimination, harassment, disapproval, social rejection, or violence. These reactions are generally driven by a combination of learned biases and pervasive social stigmas.

When a person comes out as LGBTQ+, or first acknowledges their sexual orientation or gender identity and begins to share that with others, it can be a highly precarious time, especially for young people. This is why parents, teachers, school staff, and other adults who work with young people should be informed of the common challenges LGBTQ+ youth face, as well as be prepared to offer their support. This guide provides tips and resources for understanding and supporting LGBTQ+ youth and their allies.

In order to effectively support LGBTQ+ individuals, it’s essential to understand what the term LGBTQ+ means. LGBTQ+ is an acronym for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer/questioning, and other individuals who do not conform to traditional gender and sexuality norms. Evolving your understanding of each of these terms and the unique challenges each group is likely to face will help you to provide adequate support as an ally.

Many of us are familiar with the terms lesbian, gay, and bisexual. But there’s a wide range of other terms that are equally important to understand when having conversations about LGBTQ+ issues and support. A few other common terms include:1

People sometimes avoid discussing topics like sexual orientation and gender identity because they believe them to be taboo or worry they might unintentionally offend someone. One of the best ways to address this obstacle is to seek further education on the topics. If you’re interested in learning more, there’s a wide range of educational programs available online that provide valuable insights. After gaining a solid grasp of the relevant terminology (which is a great first step), you can acquire a more profound understanding in a respectful and informed manner.

Here are a few resources to learn about some essential topics:

• Learning About Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, and Expression
• About LGBT Health
• Health Considerations for LGBTQ Youth
• Safe and Supportive Environments
• Inclusive Practices Help All Students Thrive
• Providing Services and Supports for LGBTQ+ Youth

Acknowledging the risks and challenges unique to LGBTQ+ individuals — especially children, adolescents, and teens — is one of the easiest and most impactful ways you can support them. Making them feel heard can give them a sense of hope while creating an atmosphere of safety and camaraderie. Here are some other ways you can support LGBTQ+ youth:2

1. Keep in mind that LGBTQ+ young people are a diverse group; try not to generalize, and take the time to really listen to and learn from each individual.
2. Be a role model for kindness and inclusion while also speaking up if you hear anti-LGBTQ+ comments, inappropriate questions, or put-downs.
3. Show the LGBTQ+ youth in your life that they can be themselves around you. Don’t speak in absolutes about gender or sexuality, and avoid making assumptions about people’s sexual orientation or gender identity.
4. Learn about the mental health issues LGBTQ+ youth face. According to the CDC, LGBTQ+ youth are 33% more likely than their peers to have been bullied at school, 48% more likely to have considered suicide, 23% more likely to use illicit drugs, and 63% more likely to feel depressed or hopeless.4
5. Create safe spaces for LGBTQ+ youth at a local level; this might mean sharing information and resources with the people in your community or contacting your local school board and encouraging its members to adopt inclusive policies.
6. Be prepared for what could be a long and challenging struggle when it comes to protecting the historic progress that’s been made toward ensuring full LGBTQ+ equality.

On a much broader scale, some steps have been taken in a positive direction. In the U.S. on January 20, 2021, President Joe Biden signed an Executive Order on Preventing and Combating Discrimination on the Basis of Gender Identity or Sexual Orientation, which begins by stating: “Every person should be treated with respect and dignity and should be able to live without fear, no matter who they are or whom they love.”3

But, sadly, there has also been a recent uptick in anti-LGBTQ+ and, specifically, anti-transgender state legislation. The following list contains resources on the bills, what they entail, and what you can do to help fight against them:

• Human Rights Campaign - Press Releases
• American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) - Mapping Attacks on LGBTQ Rights in U.S. State Legislatures
• National Center for Transgender Equality - State Action Center
• Trans Legislation Tracker
• A Guide to Testifying Against Harmful Bills for Parents and Supportive Adults

Coming out as LGBTQ+ can be an incredibly challenging journey filled with various emotions and uncertainties. The struggle stems from fears of rejection, prejudice, and the potential loss of valued relationships. This journey of self-discovery requires vulnerability, courage, and strength. And, as an ally, it's essential to provide a safe and supportive environment for young people. Here are some resources to help parents and other allies support LGBTQ+ youth through this difficult time:

• Coming out resources for allies
• The Coming Out Handbook
• Helping Families Understand Their LGBTQ Kids
• Breathe, Learn, Act: An e-Care Package for Parents & Loved Ones of Trans Youth
• Facts about “conversion therapy”
• How to Support Bisexual Youth

A large number of national and local organizations provide resources and support for LGBTQ+ youth and their allies. Many offer hotlines, counseling, support groups, educational resources, and other services that can help LGBTQ+ individuals feel more connected and supported. Notable online resources providing information and guidance for LGBTQ+ youth and their families include:

Perhaps the best way to support LGBTQ+ youth and their allies is by being a role model for kindness and inclusion. You can also start by exploring topics related to gender identity and sexuality, including familiarizing yourself with LGBTQ+ terminology. While learning, if you do happen to make a mistake that harms someone or makes them feel uncomfortable, treat it as a learning opportunity: Hold yourself accountable, apologize sincerely, and commit to expanding your knowledge and understanding of the experience of LGBTQ+ individuals.